


Itsy bitsy spider

by PlanetaryMusical



Category: The Orville (TV)
Genre: Arachnophobia, Dramedy, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Marriage, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-27
Updated: 2020-08-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:14:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26130985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PlanetaryMusical/pseuds/PlanetaryMusical
Summary: "The spiders came from me. I'm a bit of an arachnophobe."Ed Mercer, "Firestorm"//Just a little dramedy piece about Ed's "little" problem. Pre-Orville, Ed and Kelly are a married student couple. //
Relationships: Kelly Grayson/Ed Mercer
Comments: 3
Kudos: 5





	Itsy bitsy spider

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys,  
> Just a silly little idea I had yesterday watching the show. 
> 
> No mockery here about any anxieties. Me personally, I have a huge fear of needles and bees and wasps and anything that stings and I'm scared of heights. So, no offense, please. I just thought this could be totally Ed and Kelly :) 
> 
> PM

_"Congratulations, you've finished the exam successfully. All answers correct."_

Ed exhaled deeply, a wide satisfied smile remaining on his face as he shut down the training program on his tablet. Still, he was a bit nervous about the final exam tomorrow, but not as much as before he decided to leave Kelly in the living room with her favourite TV show on and retire into bed to have another look at his studying files and rerun the questionnaire program. For the third time today. But well, "Star mapping and Coordinations" just wasn't his best subject. He just had to study more for it, had a slightly stronger fear of failing miserably...Damn,yeah, he actually hated it. Why couldn't it just be "Planetary History" , or "Command and Intergalactic Communications"? That was his tea. But no, no matter how much he might complain, navigational education was part of the whole thing, an obviously necessary evil to get him closer to his personal big goal of being captain. One day. Hopefully.

He yawned stretching his arms as he looked at the clock on the nightstand. Almost 2300 hours. He should get some sleep before the alarm would startle him up at 5, not that he had to to be at Union Point before 8, but well. He would probably want to have a very last look at the files again. Just to be sure.

He got up and headed for the bathroom next door, now urgently getting reminded of the two big glasses of water he'd emptied during the last half hour.  
His view still a bit blurry from the long stare on the screen of his tablet, he didn't see it before he was right in front of the toilet. But it was like freezing the blood in his veins instantly. Eyes wide in panic he only could hear himself scream like from a far.  
"Gaaaaaaaaaaahhh!!! Kelly! Kel!!!Oh, my gooood!"

Kelly jolted up from the couch where she'd laid down for watching TV, her heartbeat rushing with the shock.  
"Ed??? Honey, are you alright?"

Her husband screaming like that couldn't be for nothing, she thought as she was already on her feet, hurrying towards the bathroom in the back of their apartment. Did he drop and hurt himself without her noticing for she'd been so lost in the story on screen? Damn!

"Ed? What's wrong?", she asked, almost out of breath as she reached the bathroom door seeing him crouching on the floor to her feet, staring at the opposite wall, face white, stuttering.

"Take it out...please...Please, Kel."

Narrowing her eyes she followed his view, actually had to step closer to what he was staring at.

Oh. She had been wrong. He _was_ screaming for nothing.

Turning to face him she sighed deeply, unable to hide a slightly annoyed undertone. She raised her eyebrows.  
"Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. You know exactly I'm an arachnophobe?"  
Ed scoffed, feeling how dry his throat was as he spoke.

"Oh, come on, it's tiny. Microscopic to be honest, I barely could even see it."  
She knew he was scared of spiders, yes, and she could totally accept it when they were big, but this? This was just silly.

"Microscopic?"  
Ed winced with the high pitch in his own voice. "Kel... It's a spider, so... Please?"

"You're ridiculous!"  
Kelly couldn't avoid to chuckle as she made her way to the door again.

"Kel, no!"  
Ed grabbed for her leg instantly as she tried to pass him still sitting on the floor. "No please, you have to. Kel, I really need to pee and I won't do it in here with that devil's pet, so if you don't want me to ruin the orchids in the living room you gonna... -"

"Wouuhhhh, okay, got it."  
Kelly shook her head in disbelief, looking down on her husband, knowing that he would actually do what he said. He always kept his word. In any matter. She sighed, forcing a smile.  
"I'm gonna take it out."

"Thank you..."  
Ed exhaled in obvious relief as he let go of her leg, watching her returning back to the wall.

Kelly's eyes wandered up to the ceiling.  
"It's too far up now."

"Kelly, please!" Ed whined in high c.

She chuckled. It actually was funny.  
With a big grin she stepped on the lid of the toilet, reaching out her arm.  
"Could you hand me my brush please?"

"What?" High d-sharp.

"My hairbrush. To reach it? I'm not a Kaylon."  
Kelly smirked imagining being one of these fascinating but barely encountered high-tech robots she recently learned about at the academy. Could be quite handy right know, having some cable spreading fingertips like one of them...

"You think this is funny, Kel?"  
Ed gritted his teeth as he shuffled over to the counter and grabbed the brush he handed to his wife quickly before seeking shelter in the doorway.

"It actually is."  
Kelly bit her lips, trying not to laugh out loud as she watched him tip toeing from one foot to the other. She maybe should hurry up, she thought as she reached out to the spider with the brush handle. Didn't mean she couldn't tease him in the meantime.  
"Itsy bitsy spider climbed up the water spout..."

"It's not, Kelly! It's so _not_ funny!"

"Down came the rain and washed the spider out..."  
Kelly wondered about the steadiness in her singing while she actually barely could breathe to hold in the laughter.

"Kel, stop it!"  
Ed felt the heat rising in his chest. How could she be so mean?

"Out came the sun..."

"Okay, you know what..."  
He wanted nothing but to leave right now. Anywhere. Just...Out.

"Oh."

"What?? What's wrong, Kel?"  
Ed could feel how the colour drained from his face. At least she'd stopped singing.

"Damn... I lost track of it."  
She put down the brush, turning towards Ed.  
"Sorry."

"That means what?? Kel? What do you mean you lost track of it?"  
Ed was so tensed up inside he almost wanted to cry.

"That means", Kelly said, stepping down from the toilet lid. She came closer to him, an encouraging smile on her face as she patted his shoulder.  
"I think it is somewhere in the shower now. Means you can go pee. I'm confident you'll make it."  
She winked before leaving out of the bathroom.

Ed just could stand and stare for a few seconds, before his urgent need came back to his mind stronger than before. And he was too weak to fight it any longer.  
"Damnit!"

He rushed for the toilet, not without his eyes fearfully scanning the wall and ceiling the whole time while he hurried to leave the room as soon as possible.

As he returned to the sleeping room he felt like he had lost a fight against a Moclan. Exhausted, tired and absolutely done. He just wanted to sleep.

He saw Kelly laying on the bed, the spider fighter brush on the nightstand. He hadn't noticed it when she'd left the bathroom... She was holding a little jar in her hand, watching it in the dimly light of the night lamp.

"What's that, Kelly?"  
Ed felt his heart beat speeding up again. This couldn't be.  
"Is that the... You!!"

"Trapped in here safely, dear."  
Kelly grinned, shaking the jar gracefully like a trophy.

"But you said it's in the shower, you -"

"You really thought I could leave you alone in there, with Shelob?"

"But why did you lie to me, Kel? That's awful!"

"But you made it, right? You made it being in a room where you thought is a spider. That's some progress here."

"Progress? Kelly, I..."  
Ed's eyes turned downwards.  
"Forget it. It's fine."

He couldn't find any more words. His feelings tumbling around in his head, he slipped under the covers and turned towards the wall.  
"Good night, Kelly."

He felt everything and nothing.  
Exhaustion.  
A rest of fear, though the spider was secured in a jar now.  
Anger.  
Hurt.  
Embarrassment.  
Why was he so silly about spiders, needing his wife to save his ass? From a spider! God damnit... Why was he so weird?  
Ed closed his eyes. He just needed to sleep. Now.  
He winced as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Ed."  
Kelly bit her lips, the amused grin long disappeared from her face.  
"I shouldn't have done that. Mocking you, not like that. And fooling you in the end... I'm really sorry, honey."  
She sighed, briefly stroking his neck, hearing his stubborn, sharp breaths.  
Yes, he knew how to bite back, giving her a tough time. How alike they were. Sometimes she thought she was looking in a mirror.  
"Can you turn around, that we can talk about it? Please."

Ed felt the knot inside his chest growing as she touched him. This wasn't fair. Hurting him and then pushing the buttons she knew he was sensitive to. He wanted to resist. At all costs, staying put and being hurt and pissed at her. But... He couldn't. He just couldn't... Damn, Kel.  
His expression was unchanging as he turned around to face her. He could read in her eyes that she was genuinely sorry. Still, he was too stirred up inside to say anything yet.

Kelly took a deep breath as she propped up on her arm and watched him, her right hand touching his chest.  
"I really have to work on that... I mean, I knew that you are scared of spiders. I just never thought you would still be scared of spiders that small. And I thought it's just silly and I mocked you, just because I thought it's ridiculous. But it doesn't matter what I think, what my measurements are, or my point of view or my opinion, when you are facing a problem. Because for you, it was a problem, you were scared. And I just didn't get myself to look through your eyes. That's something I really have to work on. Changing my view. You're so much better at that, you know that? We both can be headstrong, yes, but you... Your empathy is what I love most about you. Like you look people in the eyes and know what they feel... I admire that. I want to be more like you about that."  
She smiled.  
"So... Can you forgive me? "

Ed swallowed, her words giving his emotions another full turn backwards and upside down, her fingers drawing circles on his chest not making it much easier to face a clear thought.  
He just couldn't do anything more than reaching out to her, touching her cheek. He nodded, now feeling everything she said sinking in. She came closer, meeting his lips for a brief kiss before resting her head on the pillow next to his, face to face, his arm around her waist.  
"Kel, I... I actually don't know what's making me so scared about it. Maybe you are right and it's really silly, I don't know. I just know, I hate it. I hate that I'm scared like that."

"I know you do, but it's not silly you're scared, and it's not a shame. It just... Don't you think, you should do something about it? I mean, I love you, just like you are, but it bothers you. You hate it and it hurts you. Shouldn't we go for it and change that? And yes, I mean we. I'm with you. If you want me to."

"You mean spider therapy?"

"Yeah, kind of, spider therapy. I mean, I'm no therapist, but we could give it a shot. If it doesn't work, we could ask Hailey for some advice maybe."  
Hailey was her best friend since school days, now a psychologist. Kelly first wanted to suggest seeking her help here, but she knew Ed and his insecurities about professional help, due to his childhood experiences. So maybe this way.   
She saw him nodding, shyly. 

"And how... How would we do that? I mean, you won't lock me up with a bunch of spiders, will you?"  
Ed felt his throat turning a little clogged again.

"No, silly, never."  
Kelly chuckled lightly.  
"Well, we could start with one little fella, maybe. Just sitting near to it, you and me and you just try to relax. And then maybe you try to catch it. And if you can't, I'm stepping in for help... And then next step is I lock you up with a bunch of tarantulas and the Lord of the Rings Shelob scene on repeat."

"Damnit, Kel!" Ed's eyes had literally grown bigger with every word from Kelly's lips.

"I'm just kidding!", she yelped, laughing so wholeheartedly that he just had to give in and join.

He cupped her cheek.  
"You really want to do that with me?"

"Sure. I'm your wife. I love you."  
She closed her eyes as she felt his lips melting into hers, now unwilling to let go after just a few seconds.

"But..." Ed said, breaking the kiss "I mean, we don't need to start now, right? I mean... Would you take the jar into the living room tonight? Or somewhere? Because I don't think I could sleep with it near me and I really need to sleep tonight because of the exam tomorrow and -"

Kelly cut him off occupying his lips with hers while crawling backwards on the bed, tearing him with her.  
Getting up, she took the jar from the nightstand, reaching it over to Ed.  
"Will you take it there?"

He stared at the jar, then at her, seeing her having her other hand reached out to him, too.

She winked, smiling.  
"I'm coming with you."


End file.
